No sleep 'til Brooklyn
I don't get enough sleep. I know this for a fact, and yet I am doing nothing to change my situation. Part of my resistance to go sleep when my baby goes to sleep is my burning desire for some meeeeeee! time. Even if my 'me time' consists of me cleaning up dinner, making lunches for the next day and wiping down the kitchen for the one billionth time that day. My desire to stay up has more to do with the fact that I can do a few things around the house without another person attached to me than it does with actually taking care of myself. I know I should be in bed earlier, but it is nice to spend a few hours awake not having to cater to every whimper and cry of a small, yet demanding person.
However, I must get more sleep. Yesterday I found myself at my wits end with my son, to the point that it was scaring me a little. Matty was fussing last night, and refusing to take his end of the day nap, the one which gives me some down time and allows me to start dinner, etc. He wouldn't go to sleep. I was getting so frustrated with him and then I was getting frustrated with myself for getting frustrated with him. Fun cycle. What made it worse was my lack of sleep.
Every night I think, tonight will be different, tonight I'll go to bed earlier. But then, I have this teeny tiny hope that maybe tonight will be the night that Matty doesn't wake up at 4 am for no reason at all. I can't base my sleeping habits on the hopes I have for my 7 month old son. That's ridiculous, and yet, I keep hoping that maybe, just maybe, he'll surprise me and start sleeping through the night like he did when he was three months. Ahhh...too bad that only lasted two weeks. It will be a joyous night when both my son and I can sleep without waking up and crying.
However, I must get more sleep. Yesterday I found myself at my wits end with my son, to the point that it was scaring me a little. Matty was fussing last night, and refusing to take his end of the day nap, the one which gives me some down time and allows me to start dinner, etc. He wouldn't go to sleep. I was getting so frustrated with him and then I was getting frustrated with myself for getting frustrated with him. Fun cycle. What made it worse was my lack of sleep.
Every night I think, tonight will be different, tonight I'll go to bed earlier. But then, I have this teeny tiny hope that maybe tonight will be the night that Matty doesn't wake up at 4 am for no reason at all. I can't base my sleeping habits on the hopes I have for my 7 month old son. That's ridiculous, and yet, I keep hoping that maybe, just maybe, he'll surprise me and start sleeping through the night like he did when he was three months. Ahhh...too bad that only lasted two weeks. It will be a joyous night when both my son and I can sleep without waking up and crying.
posted by Al at 1:57 PM
2 Comments:
O mi gosh Amy! I hope you don't mind that I still read your blog. Don't be hard on yourself! Being a mama is not for punks. It's not an easy job! I could have written your post! Meeeeeeeeeee time! Love, love love it. just wish I had more of it. Every day around 3 I say "I'm going to get to bed as soon as the boys are in bed and the chores are done" but I ALWAYS end up doing stuff until like 11 or 12. Why do we do this to ourselves? You are so right - b/c we want that "me time". I asked my friend when I would sleep again about 6 months after having the boys and she said "When they're 18!" ha ha ha But no, for the most part I get a sufficient amount of sleep b/c I'm not still waking up at 4 in the morning, unless the occasional sickness or teething hits. Damn, when does this teething end? ;o)
Gina! I love that you are still reading! It is great to hear from you, and I am so sorry that you aren't getting as much sleep as you want either. It's always something right? :) I can't wait to see you and see how big the boys are, December will be here before we even realize it!
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