Amy phone home

I must say that I feel very spaced out since Monday night.
Shock + Disbelief - Sleep + Racing Mind = me

Often I find myself staring off, mind wandering, thinking I can't let my child have a MySpace account! Too many pervs out there! What if my kid is a picky eater until he/she is 21 and will only eat peanut butter and jelly every day. Will my child even like me? I forgo the pregnancy worries and fast forward my worries 10 to 15 years later. Makes no sense, but isn't that what pregnancy is all about?...crazy hormones and irrational fears. Yes. Yes it is.

Part of the reason I am not thinking as much about the actual pregnancy is I really can't believe there is another person inside of me. Boggles the mind. Growing up, one always hears about the miracle of birth:

'Oh! It's just amazing!'

'Truly it's a blessing!'

'A modern day miracle!'

'Um! Holy Crap!'

Pretty much you take all the things you hear about the miracle of birth in stride, until it actually happens to you. Then, you freak the eff out. At least that is what happened to me. I showed Jim the results on Monday night and went through emotions as follows: head exploding shock, body trembling excitement, mind numbing confusion, absolute total fear, and finally something that eerily resembles the twilight zone (with a bunch of 'holy craps' thrown in for good measure).

And that brings me to my current state: Out of it. I can't concentrate on much, and the few emotions I can identify right now are elation and aniexty. I have also gotten really good at identifying hunger, though I am fairly certain that isn't an emotion, at this stage of pregnancy anyway. Ask me again in 12 weeks, and hunger may be my one and only emotion.

Well...the other emotion I am aware of is if this baby doesn't make it until 12 weeks, but let's not talk about that right now. Let's talk about sunshine and bunnies, because they? Make everything better! Even ranging hormonal pregnant women. Right.