'can't sleep pregnant'
Last night was the worst night of sleep I have had since 'Operation Cletus: 2007' began. It is a struggle for me to think of the words I should type because my brain is fuzzy, my eyes are heavy and I feel only a little bit better than if I had been hit by a Mac truck. If my shoddy calculations are correct I had approximately negative 3 hours of sleep last night. Okay. Okay. That isn't true. Perhaps I had about 5.5 hours of sleep, but it was not all consecutive. No. Why would it be? It was spread out over the course of the night, which made it even more enjoyable. The worst part was as I was lying there trying to sleep, I just found myself getting more and more angry, which wasn't exactly helping my cause.
I just spent the last 30 minutes at work being very productive and googling 'can't sleep pregnant'. Over half of what I read were other pregnant women saying, 'oh, this is just nature's way of preparing us for what's to come', which isn't exactly what I want to read, as I prop my eyes open with toothpicks to stay awake for the next 7 hours. I want a solution, and not one that happens in 18 years when this kid leaves home.
As I become more tired due to lack of sleep, I feel extremely sorry for myself. I know things really aren't that bad, and that lack of sleep can skew things in a pretty crappy direction, but it sure it easy to take on the 'woe is me role' and whine and complain. While I am sure everyone around wants me to just stick a sock in it already, but I feel better having been a cranky bitch, which isn't exactly fair to those around me, but whatever. They don't have 20 extra pounds on them, causing them to be a sleep deprived basket case.
Speaking of extra pounds, I was worried for awhile that I was gaining too much weight too quickly. Now, I have opposite fears. I feel like this kid should be getting bigger with every breath I take. I want to feel it moving around more as it is growing, and I don't. At first I didn't want to get on the scales, but now I do it willingly to see if my baby is fatting up, and since I have only gained two pounds in the last two weeks I wonder if something is wrong. All my baby books say from here on out this kid will triple in size, blah, blah, blah. Which, I know the tripling takes place over the last months, but...really, since I don't have enough on my mind already, let me just add this one other thing to the mix, that I probably shouldn't really even be worrying about, but will anyway. I am sure in two more months, when I reach whale like proportions, I will look fondly back on this time and wistfully think of the days when this kid wasn't growing into what will probably feel like Andre the Giant proportions in my uterus.
When I think about it, I really am enjoying this pregnancy (though you may not be able to tell from this entry) and I like being pregnant, I truly do. I also like causing myself grief over things that are way out of my control, I figure it balances the scales a little. Now, please excuse me while I lay my head down on my desk and get some work done...
I just spent the last 30 minutes at work being very productive and googling 'can't sleep pregnant'. Over half of what I read were other pregnant women saying, 'oh, this is just nature's way of preparing us for what's to come', which isn't exactly what I want to read, as I prop my eyes open with toothpicks to stay awake for the next 7 hours. I want a solution, and not one that happens in 18 years when this kid leaves home.
As I become more tired due to lack of sleep, I feel extremely sorry for myself. I know things really aren't that bad, and that lack of sleep can skew things in a pretty crappy direction, but it sure it easy to take on the 'woe is me role' and whine and complain. While I am sure everyone around wants me to just stick a sock in it already, but I feel better having been a cranky bitch, which isn't exactly fair to those around me, but whatever. They don't have 20 extra pounds on them, causing them to be a sleep deprived basket case.
Speaking of extra pounds, I was worried for awhile that I was gaining too much weight too quickly. Now, I have opposite fears. I feel like this kid should be getting bigger with every breath I take. I want to feel it moving around more as it is growing, and I don't. At first I didn't want to get on the scales, but now I do it willingly to see if my baby is fatting up, and since I have only gained two pounds in the last two weeks I wonder if something is wrong. All my baby books say from here on out this kid will triple in size, blah, blah, blah. Which, I know the tripling takes place over the last months, but...really, since I don't have enough on my mind already, let me just add this one other thing to the mix, that I probably shouldn't really even be worrying about, but will anyway. I am sure in two more months, when I reach whale like proportions, I will look fondly back on this time and wistfully think of the days when this kid wasn't growing into what will probably feel like Andre the Giant proportions in my uterus.
When I think about it, I really am enjoying this pregnancy (though you may not be able to tell from this entry) and I like being pregnant, I truly do. I also like causing myself grief over things that are way out of my control, I figure it balances the scales a little. Now, please excuse me while I lay my head down on my desk and get some work done...
posted by Al at 10:20 AM
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