Babies, Balling and Bawling
Life is hard. Creating life is harder. Being around those who have created life, once you lost a life you created, is even harder.
I was around babies a lot this past weekend, which was GREAT! and also....not so great. Holding a good friend's babies at another friend's baby shower was bittersweet. It drives home the fact that I don't have my own baby to hold, just other people's babies. Yet, if there is a baby in a five foot radius, you can be sure that I will want to hold it, no matter how sad it makes me.
After my little friends gave my biceps a good workout at the baby shower, I went to see the Nationals play for the first time. Only, I didn't so much watch the Nationals as much as I thought about how I don't have a baby to hold, and then I cried, during the 3rd inning and I could. not. stop. crying. At a baseball game for pete's sake! People were doing the wave, cursing the empire, chugging beers, and being typical fans of 'America's favorite pastime' and I was crying. Um, neurotic much? Nah.
Yet, no matter how hard it is for me to be around other babies, I will continue to be around them as much as possible. Even though tears may fall freely once I leave the presence of a wee bebe, I love the sweet giggle, the soft smell, and the pain in my arms after holding a 15 pound baby for an hour. Always have, always will. I just hope that one day that 15 pounder will be my own.
I was around babies a lot this past weekend, which was GREAT! and also....not so great. Holding a good friend's babies at another friend's baby shower was bittersweet. It drives home the fact that I don't have my own baby to hold, just other people's babies. Yet, if there is a baby in a five foot radius, you can be sure that I will want to hold it, no matter how sad it makes me.
After my little friends gave my biceps a good workout at the baby shower, I went to see the Nationals play for the first time. Only, I didn't so much watch the Nationals as much as I thought about how I don't have a baby to hold, and then I cried, during the 3rd inning and I could. not. stop. crying. At a baseball game for pete's sake! People were doing the wave, cursing the empire, chugging beers, and being typical fans of 'America's favorite pastime' and I was crying. Um, neurotic much? Nah.
Yet, no matter how hard it is for me to be around other babies, I will continue to be around them as much as possible. Even though tears may fall freely once I leave the presence of a wee bebe, I love the sweet giggle, the soft smell, and the pain in my arms after holding a 15 pound baby for an hour. Always have, always will. I just hope that one day that 15 pounder will be my own.
posted by Al at 3:13 PM
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