How's about a nice swift kick in the...
For the record, I would like to state that time does not heal all wounds, but it does help things become fuzzier. Or maybe that's the alcohol. Does it sound better if I say 'prescribed' alcohol? No? Okay. Moving on then.
For the most part I have been sailing along just fine, I think about loosing the baby, but I have been able to talk about it with more people and each time it becomes easier to talk about. The more I share the less vulnerable to depression I feel. Support from my husband and friends has really helped me move past this dark period in my life.
But...it seems that good ole Quest Diagnostics was not ready for me to move on and wanted to remind me about the crapfest I had just endured. Thanks Quest Diagnostics! You suck. Last night I came home to a bill for the blood work that was done in my doctor's office. You know...the one that tested whether or not I was pregnant? That bill. I can't describe the pain that resurfaced when I yanked out the payment request, payment for blood work confirming the presence of a child, who is actually no longer present, but left about two months ago. I can say that I would have enjoyed slowly peeling back my toenail more than opening that bill.
Losing this baby has affirmed my desire to have a child. If I could talk to my little-skinny-annoying-thinks-she-knows-everything 24 year old self I would tell her that yes, it seems like you want to wait to have a child but you need to pull your head out of your ass. When she retorts with how much she wants to spend time with her new husband and enjoy the first years of marriage without worrying about children, I will simply reply that you are spending time with your husband while you try to have a child. DUH! And then I will slap her and tell her to get busy, because this baby making business is hard work.
For the most part I have been sailing along just fine, I think about loosing the baby, but I have been able to talk about it with more people and each time it becomes easier to talk about. The more I share the less vulnerable to depression I feel. Support from my husband and friends has really helped me move past this dark period in my life.
But...it seems that good ole Quest Diagnostics was not ready for me to move on and wanted to remind me about the crapfest I had just endured. Thanks Quest Diagnostics! You suck. Last night I came home to a bill for the blood work that was done in my doctor's office. You know...the one that tested whether or not I was pregnant? That bill. I can't describe the pain that resurfaced when I yanked out the payment request, payment for blood work confirming the presence of a child, who is actually no longer present, but left about two months ago. I can say that I would have enjoyed slowly peeling back my toenail more than opening that bill.
Losing this baby has affirmed my desire to have a child. If I could talk to my little-skinny-annoying-thinks-she-knows-everything 24 year old self I would tell her that yes, it seems like you want to wait to have a child but you need to pull your head out of your ass. When she retorts with how much she wants to spend time with her new husband and enjoy the first years of marriage without worrying about children, I will simply reply that you are spending time with your husband while you try to have a child. DUH! And then I will slap her and tell her to get busy, because this baby making business is hard work.
posted by Al at 11:58 AM
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