Using parethesis a lot means you write real good

Oh...life is good. It certainly is. I love spending time with my husband, making dinner with him, watching hours of pointless TV (reality TV is my bitch) whilst thinking about the educational and enriching outings we should be taking, going for a bike ride whenever I want, and reading a book just because I feel like it. I love being a mature grown-up and doing things for my own self.

But, (and I think you all know where I am going with this) I want some responsibilities! Like, maybe, caring-for-a wee-little-babe-responsibilities (except without all that getting up in the middle of the night stuff. Oh, I kid. Get it? Kid? Ha! ha?). I can do it! I am mature (see above). I am a grown-up (see above). I am responsible. I floss, cook healthy meals, drive safely, clean up after myself. Aren't those all requirements for birthing a 7 pound helpless little human? Plus, I really, really want a kid. Doesn't that count for something? You know, I love enjoying a glass or three of wine at dinner, but I actually wish that I couldn't enjoy it right now. Instead I would like to say "Oh, drinking alcohol was only approved for a pregnant Gwyneth Paltrow, not me. Pour me a glass in 9 months, thanks."

So, to the great baby maker of the universe: I am ready! (Did I mention that already? Because I am.) Just fill me up with baby and I will be happy and content, and I won't complain at all (well maybe once or twice, but only if my ankles swell).

Also: It makes for quite the embarrassing moment when someone compliments the shirt you are wearing, and instead of looking down (like a normal person), you grab your boob and rub the shirt to remember what it looks like, and then you try to explain why you just felt yourself up. Quite. Embarrassing.