A-Ok

Little BOS! I love you! I am so glad you are growing, getting bigger, and that everything was okay at your appointment last week, this all makes me so happy. I am beyond excited to meet you, I can't wait to find out what your personality will be, and whether or not you will have my humor or your father's good looks.

I am still hesitant to talk about you little BOS, because this will make you even more real. Not that you aren't real already, but if I don't talk about you then I can pretend for just a little longer that I am not freaking out about where you will sleep, were I will sleep, and how we will all fit into our little shoe box once you come home. I am a wee bit stressed about the arrangements in our shoe box, but I feel confident that it will all work out, even if you and I are camping out in the backyard for a short time.

Just like that we are going from three to four. I am overjoyed!

Feed Me

I am so hungry with this pregnancy, I want to eat everything in sight:

- Buddance's soggy leftover graham cracker? Check.
- All the leftovers in the fridge that are normally unappealing? Check.
- Every single snack item I have at my desk? Check. (Before 10am? Double check.)
- The entire isle of Easter candy at CVS? Check.

It is so hard to hold back from eating like a cow all damn day. So far the only thing I haven't wanted to eat is anything I actually have to fix. I have zero energy, and eating something that requires prep time just makes me want to fall asleep.

Oh, the one other thing I haven't wanted to eat? The fried rice, with garlic, my husband made the other night. The garlic smell was so gaggy that I actually had to take a shower to get the smell out of my nostrils. It would not leave and I thought I was going to die. DIIIIIIE, from the smell of garlic burning my nostrils. And I am not exaggerating in the slightest.

A list, because my brain is beyond fried

- When your son decides (on his own, let me make that part clear) to reset his bedtime 1 HOUR and a HALF earlier than he had previously been going to bed, the new found free time makes your night seem endlessly long.

- When your first bathing experience of the day is at 7pm at night, it is a wonderful thing to be able to lounge in the tub and read a book. Wow, a moment like that hasn't presented itself in ages.

- The constant headaches and neck pains that have been happening are driving me mad. There are moments in the day that the pain is so intense, tears come to my eyes.

- How does one move beyond being deeply hurt by someone they love? What makes it harder is the inability to let go coupled with the belief that somehow, something will change.

- This weekend my husband and I will celebrate five years of wedded bliss. Time really does fly. That man is my everything.

Squooosh

Oh my starry heavens. I am sooooo tired of sucking in my baby belly and I cannot wait until I am a full 12 weeks along next Wednesday, hear this little BOS' heartbeat and declare to the world that yes, I am indeed pregnant, and while I do have a nice layer of fat, it's BABY fat, I am not over dosing on Easter candy.

I walk around at work an uncomfortable mess of gas, heartburn, and smooshed belly. This poor kid, granted I know it's only about 5 millimeters long, but BOS has got to be wondering what is up, thinking that things weren't supposed to get this tight until the END of the pregnancy, not the beginning.

Little BOS, I love you, and I am not trying to squish you on purpose. Momma is scared to announce your presence to the world until she hears your little heartbeat whooshing with her very own ears.

On the plus side, I am still fitting into all non-maternity pants and I am one week away from being out of the first trimester. Score. (And if this is commonplace for all mothers during their second pregnancy where their children will be NINETEEN MONTHS apart, please let me just go ahead and bask in the light of my regular pants, mmmkay? Thanks. Because Lord only knows if I will ever be able to get back into them.)

I should not ever buy hot chocolate again.

This morning I stopped at a gas station to get a cup of hot chocolate. I was standing in line behind a woman who kept turning around, smiling at me, shifting her weight back and forth and obviously wanting to talk to me about something, anything. I smiled politely at her, but was really not in the mood to carry on a conversation, I barely had any sleep and I was thinking about how hard it was going to be to get through the day. However, I should have engaged her in some kind of small talk, because she took it upon herself to have a conversation with me that I was NOT happy to have.

After turning around to face me approximately 73 more times, this woman decides to lean over the stack of Washington Post, grab the top paper and show me the headline.

"Did you see this? Hillary is still in the race!" She exclaimed as she shoved the paper in my face.

Oh no, she didn't. She did not just start a conversation with me about politics in a gas station coffee shop before 9am. Now, to be fair to this woman, we are in one of the most politically central areas of the country, and there are probably many people who would want to talk politics anywhere at anytime, I however, am not one of those people.

Though I was ticked, I didn't want to be rude, "Oh wow, I was extremely curious how Ohio and Texas would side, that is interesting." I smiled benignly and took a step away from this woman, hoping she might get my drift. Um. NO.

She continues on: "So did you vote for Hillary?"

WHAT KIND OF CRAZY ARE YOU? You do NOT ask a total stranger how they voted, that is rude, and for me it violated all kinds of stranger boundaries. I don't mind one bit talking about who I voted for with close friends and family, but I am not comfortable having this discussion with an absolute stranger. People in this town, on both sides, are crazy insane when it comes to political views, and I would just rather keep my mouth shut, thank you very much.

I stutter in my response "Uh...Er...Um....No." Not that it is ANY of your business.

Again, not getting the DRIFT she asked: "Oh, did you vote for Obama? I find that a lot of young people are voting for Obama and a lot of older women are siding with Hillary."

Yes. I voted for Obama, but what if I hadn't? Supposed I was backing Huckabee, or what if I wrote in my own vote for my cousin Ricky Bobby? Whose business is it? Not YOURS gas-station lady!

I just stared blankly at her, asking her to please shut up (in my mind) because she is getting on my last nerve.

"You did vote for Obama didn't you? What is it about him that is so appealing to all you young people, I don't understand."

Clearly, I was not getting away from this woman anytime soon. "Yes, I voted for Obama. I like him more than I like Hillary." I was not about to get into health care reform and NAFTA with this crazee and I was hoping my answer would make her realize that I have no desire to talk about this with you, so SHUT THE FREAK UP.

"Oh! I used to vote that way too! I voted for Bill Clinton because he was so cute, which was a perfectly awful reason to vote for him. Good thing that worked in my favor! So, I understand about voting for someone because you like them, but you'll learn, overtime you'll vote for someone because of what they represent."

Gee. Thanks for judging me. So far I have tried to refrain from judging you, but you are making that pretty darn hard at the moment. I never said I didn't believe in what Obama represented, I just said I like him more than I like Hillary. Also, in case you haven't noticed crazy-gas-station-lady, I have barely responded to this conversation, so perhaps it's not something I am particularly into. Ever think of that? NO. Because you are too interested in spewing your mouth off, and don't care if you offend someone or not.

This lady went on to lecture me a bit more about how I should vote and that Hillary has some great ideas about health care reform that we should all pay attention to. Luckily, the coffee line started moving after crazy lady's last soap box speech and I was able to move away from her, but she did manage to tell me to vote about the issues one last time. And I did manage to roll my eyes at her, but only after her back was turned, because I am a big scaredy cat.

My God. What is it with people who think that everyone around them wants to hear how they think? That drives me up a wall.

Twilight Zone

Ever since we managed to get Buddance on a decent nap schedule we have included a quiet time at the end of day, this is both to preserve the sanity of the adult in the house and to prevent dinner from becoming a repeat of 'The Exorcist' complete with head spinning and green stuff spewing from pie holes. So far the quiet time has served it's purpose very well and I will note that this is not a nap time, just a time for Bud to spend a few moments in his crib, alone, and then emerge sane enough to finish his day. Dinner is usually an enjoyable experience thanks to this time and we trudge through with almost no whining or begging to be released from the high chair.

Rewind to last Friday and this is where we enter the Twilight Zone. I put Buddance down for his quiet time a little later than normal, perhaps around 4:30. Usually he would relax around 4 pm, but I think we were outside or running an errand and didn't quite stick to the schedule. However, instead of resting quietly in his crib for about 15 minutes, the Bud fell asleep, and I didn't think much of it, figuring he would wake up around 5:30 at the latest to eat dinner. Only here's the thing: He did not wake up. The entire night. It was beyond strange. He slept through dinner and slept straight through the night, waking up around 5:45 the next morning. The child had over 12 hours of sleep. It was nuts. The house felt different that entire night because Bud never showed his face again and we are used to seeing him until around 6:30 or so. But then, the same thing happened the next night, and the next, and the next.

My child is now going to bed around 5 pm every night AND is fine with skipping dinner. This is both eerie and relaxing at the same time.

I find myself stuffing food down his throat all afternoon in preparation for what could be his last meal, and I wonder if this crazy streak will continue, or if today will indeed be the day that quiet time returns to quiet time and bedtime is once again around 6:15ish. So far, quiet time has remained bedtime.

Today J and I plan to try something different. We'll do quiet time with Bud, but we'll stay in the room with him, hoping that he'll stay up and then we'll plan on putting him to bed at 6pm instead of between 6:15-6:30. Hopefully he will sleep just as long, and this would prevent him from getting up around 5:30ish. We'll see.

The other strange happening is that his morning naps have gotten longer as well. They used to average around an hour, but now they are lasting anywhere from an hour and forty-five min to two hours. So crazy.

Just as soon as I think I have something figured out Bud goes and switches it up for me. He keeps us on our toes, that's for sure. Annnnnd....speaking of keeping us on out toes: Daylight Savings time arrives this weekend just to keep things super interesting. Joy.

The Best

Best Weekend in a long time.

Super tired, wanting to sleep more than anything, but must make a note that meeting your single-for-30-years-best-friend's new boyfriend, who meshes perfectly with best friend, like white on rice, is beyond awesome. I am so thrilled for BF that I am honestly trying not to emit little shouts of glee as I write this.

In other more boring news, I believe that Buddance is sick, and I may not be far behind. Duder man has gone to bed for the past several nights at FIVE in the evening. The first night it happened I freaked out the whole time, however, by tonight I am realizing that he probably doesn't feel well. DUH.

I sincerely hope we didn't pass the love birds our potential sickness after they stayed with us all weekend. I would hate for them to miss a day of making out due to an illness. Oh my freakin' heck, did I mention how cute they are together? Almost as cute as my son, but not quite.